January 18, 2016. I drove to my office in Houston and worked until my lunchtime, at which time I left Houston for Temple. While I was in transit, Brenda stopped by for Dad’s physical therapy session. She suggested that they practice a car transfer, but he told her that he was done with practicing the car transfer. He had transferred in and out of the car several times. Brenda didn’t know it, but we had not always adhered to her guidelines, so she probably didn’t realize that Dad had hit the streets for doctors’ appointments and haircuts following his first successful attempt. However, knowing Dad as she did, she wouldn’t have been too surprised. Dad could be very determined, not to mention stubborn. It was a Locke family trait. Instead of car transfers, Brenda had him work on his balance.
When I arrived at my parents’ home in Temple, Kristen, the speech therapist, was reviewing the dos and don’ts about eating and swallowing. While she was there, I showed her some foods that I had purchased in Houston, which included canned nectars and tomato basil soup. Based on some earlier conversations with Kristen, I had guessed that they qualified as thickened liquids, and she agreed.
For dinner, Mom prepared a chicken and biscuit dinner, and for dessert we had angel food cake, topped with a homemade mixed-berry jam. It seemed that we had deviated somewhat from the “avoid meals of white and red” guideline so that we could distinguish blood from aspirated food in his trach, but we didn’t care. We were pleased that we were able to prepare meals that we could all enjoy together. Just a few weeks ago, Dad would retreat to his bedroom while we ate, coming out when it was time to play Oh Hell. We played the card game again tonight, and Dad won.
While Dad was getting ready for bed, I learned that since I had left on Friday, he had started dressing himself.
Before I went to bed, I needed to move my car from the front of the house to the side of the garage. While I was outside, I noticed a large stack of boxes beside the garage. It seemed that UPS had left my order from American HomePatient out of sight of the street and out of our sight too. After using the hand truck to haul everything inside, I unpacked the boxes and saw that they neglected again to send us the saline and 4x4s gauze sponges that I had ordered two orders ago. These supplies were vital for trach care and I had resorted to having the nurses to bring me gauze sponges during their visits.
January 19. Dad had a very good night, waking only once at 3:00 A.M. to use the Yankauer suction wand. When he woke an hour later, he was in a good mood and had a pretty good morning. He and Michell were ready and waiting for the HOP bus when it arrived early at 5:40 A.M.
When they arrived at the dialysis center, Dad weighed in at 66.4 kg. Because his target weight was 63 kg (139 lbs), the dialysis nurse said that they would remove 4800 ml of fluid. Michell had experienced the last time that the dialysis center removed too much fluid. She strongly objected to this news and had the nurse lower the target to 1800 ml. Michell had changed a lot since she first joined us. In November, she had been shocked when I objected to the guidance of the wound specialist. Now, just two months later, she was standing up to the medical professionals. At the end of his dialysis session, Dad weighed 64.8 kg.
After Dad and Michell returned home, I contacted Sue, our friend and the nurse practitioner at the dialysis center, and questioned her about Dad’s target dry weight. Unlike most of their dialysis patients, Dad needed to gain weight. I was trying my best to get Dad to eat more, yet the dialysis center maintained 63 kg target weight for a 6’1” male. Sue agreed that his case was not typical, and increased his dry weight to 64 kg.
While Sue and I were talking, she told me that Dr. Issac, the nephrologist, wanted to talk with Dad about removing the dialysis port and replacing it with either a fistula or graft. She said that she would schedule an appointment for Dad to see Dr. Jaffers, the surgeon. When I told Dad about the call and the possible surgery options, he seemed to become very depressed. It became clear to me that I did a poor job of presenting this information to him in a positive light, and I spent quite a bit of time trying to convince him that he was doing very well and was making great progress. After talking myself blue in the face, I agreed to drop the subject for today. My parents had been determined that Dad would recover to the point that he would not require dialysis. I suspected that surgery to provide a permanent dialysis vessel was a bit disheartening and not what he wanted to hear.
We played Oh Hell after dinner, and Michell won. Dad still seemed a little down, but not as much as earlier. After Dad had gone to bed, Mom thanked me for what I had said to him earlier today, but I don’t think that anything that I said to him had had any effect. She disagreed and thought that he’d feel better tomorrow.
I wondered to myself if it would help if I told him that I believed that he was on day 258 of a 296-day journey, which meant that he was 87% of the way to being better.
January 20. From what I could hear, Dad slept in until 7:00 A.M. I had meetings that started around 4:30 A.M., and couldn’t take a break from work until 10:00 A.M. I took that opportunity to change Dad’s trach, two days past my self-imposed seven-day cadence. The change went well, and Michell noticed that his stoma was becoming smaller. Svenja, the trach nurse, had switched Dad to a smaller sized trach to enable the stoma to begin healing, and it seemed to be working.
At 11:20 A.M., Brenda and the shower tech, Pam, stopped by so that Michell could learn how to apply the shower shield to Dad’s dialysis port and how to help him transfer in and out of the shower. During the process, Dad also got to take a shower. Dad and his shower helpers were finished with Dad’s shower within 30 minutes, and Michell was certified to assist Dad with showers. After Pam left, Brenda spent the remainder of Dad’s physical therapy time working on his walking and balance.
After his lunch of ham and turkey on an English muffin, Dad and Mom worked on some of their finances while I worked. The office seemed just a tad smaller with the three of us in such tight quarters.
At the stroke of 2:00 P.M., Kristen arrived for Dad’s swallow therapy. As she was getting ready to leave, Dianne arrived to relieve Michell. Usually, the aides switched out around 10:00 A.M., but because Michell had had car trouble last week and arrived a few hours late, she had told Dianne that she would stay late today.
Shortly after Dianne arrived, Mom went to the grocery store. When she returned, Mom, Dad, and I got into the car and drove to the church. I was still intent on taking Dad back to church on Valentine’s Day, and I thought that we needed at least one practice run. During the ride there, I shared my plan for his recovery and how I believed that by the time the 296 days were up (148 days of hospitalization and 148 days of home care), he would be ready to be mainstreamed. We all agreed on a plan, but he added that he wanted to end the live-in aides in three weeks. I told him that if he used them to help him exercise, we could terminate our relationship with One On One Personal Home Care. As long as we had the aides, we might as well get out money’s worth from them. He seemed to be onboard. I hoped that this little talk would inspire him to exercise more.
At the church, Dad got out of the car, and we walked part of the way to the door. He became a little winded, but we still had enough time to practice a couple more times before the big day.
For dinner, we ate spaghetti, still one of my favorite comfort foods, and then Dad beat us at Oh Hell.
January 21. Dad woke up at 3:30 A.M. to use the toilet and was ready to get up, but his plans were dashed when Dianne told him that he would stay in bed for another 30 minutes.
Mom was up before 4:00 A.M., and I met her in the kitchen when I made coffee. With the assistance of his walker, Dad went into the closet to select his clothes, and then he dressed himself. After dressing, he wheeled himself into the kitchen and joined Mom for a cup of hot water, which he referred to as weak coffee. Her coffee was somewhat stronger.
When he finished his breakfast of Cream of Wheat and honey, with a peach on the side, I administered his morning meds and trach care. We negotiated the morning routine like a well-oiled machine, and the HOP bus arrived moments after 6:00 A.M.
While Dad and Dianne were at the dialysis center, I called Gale. I subtly implored her to return for one or two rotations. We would be ending our relationship with One on One Personal Homecare Services soon, and I wanted to see her again, if not for work, then for dinner. Gale would not commit to returning to work, but she agreed to come back for dinner. To get the rotation of aides to align with when I wanted to host dinner for Michell and Gale, I might need to get Michell to stay for a two-week stint. I didn’t want to hurt Dianne’s feelings by excluding her from the dinner, but Michell and Gale were by far our favorite aides.
Dad weighed 66.4 kg when he arrived at the dialysis center. After having 2200 ml of fluid removed, he left weighing 64.4 kg. Dianne and Dad returned home at 11:20 A.M.
We had turkey sandwiches and Fig Newtons for lunch, and then Dad took a nap. After the loss of 2200 ml of fluid, he was feeling pretty punk. He said that he’d rather not gain weight if it meant having so much fluid removed. I explained that we’d work with Sue to ensure that they gradually increased his dry weight. She had just adjusted it a couple of days ago, so it seemed a bit premature to ask for another adjustment.
After sleeping for a couple of hours, he started feeling a little better, and by happy hour he was feeling more like his normal self. After dinner, we played cards, and I was tonight’s big winner. We were finished with cards and starting our nighttime routine at 7:50 P.M. Within 30 minutes, he was in bed and sleeping, and he slept well all night.



After Michell and Dad returned from dialysis, she restarted his tube feed at the slower rate of 55 ml/hour. Julie, the gastroenterologist dietitian, had suggested a faster rate, but Michell and I had agreed to administer the Nepro at the slower rate until Dad went at least a couple of days without feelings of nausea. Meanwhile, it seemed that Dad’s appetite had returned, and he ate tuna with a toasted English muffin and a little applesauce.
Mom felt very encouraged about Dad’s good spirits today and asked Michell if she could help to get Dad into the sunroom for happy hour. Although she did assist Dad into the sunroom, she probably could have literally carried him, considering her strength and his extreme weight loss.
While Mom attended church, Dad and Michell strolled around the yard and inside the house. While outside, Dad noticed some large 
By 4:30 A.M., with some assistance from Dianne, Dad had washed his face, brushed his longish hair, and was dressed for the day. Keeping with his normal routine, he wheeled himself to the kitchen and read some of the newspaper while Mom prepared his breakfast of Cream of Wheat with honey and a small bowl of peaches and pears. He was finished with breakfast and ready to go long before the HOP arrived at 6:00 A.M.
Now that Dad could transfer in and out of the SUV, Mom scheduled appointments with the hearing aid center and the dermatologist. She told me that Dad also wanted to see the barber on Thursday. He was usually a little weak on Thursdays because of dialysis, so strength-wise, Wednesday would have been a better day, but his Wednesday dance card was already filled with nurse and therapist appointments.
After our nightly game of cards, Dianne and I were finished with Dad’s nightly meds and trach care by 8:15 P.M., and by 8:30 P.M., he was sleeping. An hour later, he started coughing, but Dianne was able to get him to suction himself, and he was soon sleeping again.
While getting dressed, Dad’s dialysis catheter dressing fell off. Unbelievably, Dianne picked it up off of the floor and put it back over his dialysis ports. When I heard what had happened, I had her remove the soiled dressing, and I called the dialysis lab and spoke with Dad’s nurse. The nurse told me that he could stop by the dialysis lab at any time today to have the dressing replaced.
While Dad was on dialysis, Mom and I attended a Methodist Women’s Epiphany luncheon at the church. I had been attending this church for about a year now and knew many of the women. When Mom and I returned home after the luncheon, Dad was finishing a lunch of a turkey sandwich and ¼ cup of applesauce for dessert. He was like a transformer, transforming from someone who proclaimed that he would only nibble, to our eating machine.
Other than a couple of hours during the late afternoon and early evening, today was a good day for Dad. He coughed very little, and I had started his first
Brenda arrived at 10:45 A.M. for Dad’s physical therapy session and was very pleased with Dad’s progress. She agreed that Dad could try transferring in and out of the car. Getting in and out of a car might seem simple, but this type of transfer is difficult. With an SUV, the transfer into the vehicle is difficult because you have to lift yourself into the vehicle. With a car, the transfer out of the vehicle is difficult because it requires some strength in your legs and core. Everyone was thrilled when Dad successfully transferred in and out of the SUV. Being able to negotiate a car transfer successfully was the first step to freedom from our dependency on public transportation. Because none of us had the strength to manhandle the wheelchair, Dad’s reliance on the HOP’s wheelchair lift would continue as long as he might need a wheelchair on either end of an excursion. Giving up public transportation for the trip to dialysis would require that he was consistently strong enough after dialysis to transfer in and out of cars. Although Dad was not strong enough to start riding in the family car to dialysis and the doctors’ offices, he would soon be able to visit his barber.

Dianne got Dad to do some exercises this morning before he played cards with Stan. At 11:00 A.M., Kathleen arrived to administer Dad’s 30-day physical-therapy assessment. She was pleased with his progress and established some new goals for the next 30 days, which included walking unattended with a walker, transferring in and out of a car, and starting to walk with a cane. Dad had been expressing some dissatisfaction with the progress of his therapy, and he was satisfied with these new goals. Mom and I were ecstatic.
A few weeks earlier, I had downloaded the Scott & White Pharmacy app and had configured it for Dad’s prescriptions. In addition to permitting me to reorder prescriptions, it also alerted me when a prescription was ready for pickup. After receiving notification that the saline and albuterol were ready, I picked them up from the pharmacy so that we would have them on hand when the nebulizer arrived.
The five of us played Oh Hell until about 9:00 P.M., and Mom won the last game of 2015. While getting Dad ready for bed, we administered another breathing treatment. His oxygen saturation level was still good, but he was still receiving a higher concentration of oxygen. I’d feel better when his oxygen level remained normal with less oxygen.
While I was finding my first cup of coffee, Dianne tried to interest Dad in a sponge bath, but he wouldn’t entertain the idea. During recent physical therapy sessions, he had practiced transitioning in and out of the shower, and he would have a “proper” shower after the holidays. Unfortunately, while he was holding out for a proper shower, he was accumulating several layers of dead skin, which caused flakiness and bumps to appear on his extremities. When I returned to his room to see how he was feeling, he said that he felt better than yesterday, but he wavered a bit when I helped him transition to his wheelchair.
After we all opened our presents, Mom, Stan, Dianne, and I enjoyed our family’s traditional breakfast of Christmas morning loaf and bear claws. After tidying the kitchen somewhat, I accompanied Dad as he wheeled himself from the bedroom to the sunken sunroom where we had the tree. Stan and Dianne helped Dad step down into the sunroom and over to a chair—a real chair and not the wheelchair. My parents and husband had long since resigned themselves to my insistence on our traditional family photo session on Christmas Day, but no one seemed to mind it this year. I usually came armed with fancy hats or other props, but this year I was just happy that our Christmas photo included the four of us.
After Dad woke up, he and Stan played several hands of cribbage, and Stan finally won, which was a major feat as Dad was darn good at the game. Dad was still fighting a chest cold and Stan was fighting a migraine, so they were both ready for naps when they finished their grueling match. Mom and I didn’t want to take naps, but we eventually fell asleep while sitting on the couch.

When we arrived at the doctor’s office, the nurses and doctor were agog about Dad, repeating how much better he looked than he had just a few weeks earlier. The nurse said that seeing him “just made her day.” They were also pleased that he had gained a couple of pounds. His weight was up to 139 pounds. The dietitian said that if he passed his
Today, I drove 65 miles to Austin to attend an annual lunch with a group of former coworkers. It was a long way to go for lunch, but we had been meeting for about 15 years, and I always looked forward to seeing these guys. The luncheon also gave me an opportunity to share more of my holiday biscotti and experience one of my normal activities and traditions.
Today, however, was different. Although the paper was in the right place, Mom saw something on the front porch that kept her from opening the door. When Mom looked out of the front windows, she saw a large snake on the front porch, which wasn’t all that unusual. It scared her enough, though, that she wouldn’t open the door to get the paper, and she came to the office to get me—the biggest wuss in the world when it comes to snakes. When I looked out the front window, I had to laugh. The snake turned out to be a bungee cord that fell off of Timothy’s hand truck during his delivery last night. With the bravado of Crocodile Dundee’s better half, I boldly walked outside, captured the bungee snake, and picked up the newspaper.
As I was walking to my office with my first cup of coffee, I heard the annoying alarm of the new
At the stroke of 8:00 A.M., I called
Becky
My parents had a large angel trumpet plant in their courtyard, and it was in full bloom. Mom had told their neighbors, Jim and Sharon, about the plant and they stopped by to see it during happy hour. Having friends visit made our day feel almost normal.
The parade of provider assessments started with Kathleen, the physical therapist, at 10:30 A.M. She was followed at 11:30 A.M. by Janet, the occupational therapist, and at 1:30 P.M. by Stephanie, the nurse. During Kathleen’s visit, she asked how Dad was being transported to dialysis. We told her that we had wanted to use the
Shortly after Mike left, Dad was ready for a nap, and he slept until it was time for him to swallow some ice chips. As he wheeled himself from his room, he stopped by the office to let me know that I should stop for the day because it was time for happy hour.
Gale had barely pulled out of the driveway when Brenda arrived for Dad’s physical therapy session. Brenda put him through his paces, having him walk 68 feet, march in place, stand on one foot, and stand on his toes. Dad was exhausted when she left and was ready for a nap. However, instead of sleeping until he woke up himself, he instructed Michell to wake him by 2:00 P.M.
Dad and Gale slept until 6:45 A.M. Along with the water that we normally used when administering his meds, during the day, I planned to administer two additional cups of water into Dad’s G-tube to help avoid any more issues with dehydration.
Not all of our traditions fell by the wayside, however. Dad and Stan still enjoyed the traditional football games and spent many hours visiting. I gave Dad some ice chips and encouraged him to practice swallowing. Because watching football could be so exhausting, Stan and Dad recharged themselves by napping after lunch. At 4:00 P.M., Gale woke Dad and I woke Stan. Stan and I went to Walgreens to purchase some medical supplies, and Gale tended to Dad’s wrist, which I had accidentally wounded a couple of days earlier.
November 27. Dad had a very restful night, which meant that we all slept well. He called for the urinal around 1:00 A.M., and then slept until Gale woke him at 4:00 A.M. Because of the Thanksgiving holiday, the Thursday dialysis sessions had been rescheduled to Friday. The EMS dispatch office called a couple of times to adjust our pickup time and finally settled on 5:45 A.M. Before Dad and Gale were picked up, Gale told me that she thought that the
During happy hour, I was able to shoot a group photo of the family and Gale. I don’t recall what prompted the comment, but my mother said that when I was in college, I forced her to have her ears pierced. This comment surprised and concerned me. Anyone who knew my mother would question my ability (or my father’s) to force her to do anything against her will.
When the wheelchair van picked up Dad at 5:45 A.M., I followed the van to the dialysis center so that I could talk with the charge nurse about his fluid removal. Sue had assured me that they would restrict the amount of fluid that they removed, but because this was a holiday weekend and a Sunday, I wanted to ensure that the well-meaning skeleton staff would follow those orders. I would not have him dehydrated again during dialysis. The charge nurse acknowledged my concerns and said that she would speak to Dad’s nurse.
While Stan, Mom, Gale, and I ate lunch, Dad retired to his room for a nap and was still sleeping when Stan left for our home in Houston. Dad woke up shortly before 4:00 P.M., which seemed like a good time for me to change his trach. I was finished and had cleaned up after myself well before happy hour. Although we were thrilled to have Dad swallowing ice chips, he would have preferred something a bit warmer to eat during happy hour.